We Understand
Posted by Ray @ 9:58 pm
To all the guys who’ve had this happen to you - we understand. Some accountability would have been nice, no? Of course to be fair, some girls I know of have also felt the sharp sting of hypocrisy - so by no means is this a gender-specific incident. It sucks when people spew bullshit in the hopes of avoiding the unavoidable.
But you know what? When it happens to someone else, it’s funny as hell.
Heh heh heh.
From the “Oh no, they didn’t” department, comes today’s wrong link of the day. Bob Tosterud & his wife, Karen, have brought a new scented candle to the world - one that smells like Jesus! Yes, that Jesus. Yes, really. It’s called “His Essence”, and is available for order here.
The couple made the scent from Psalm 45:8, a literal reading of which goes:
All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia…
So that’s what they put in it. Well… we all know what happens when things are read literally. I mean, you’ve got to take things into context. Should Psalm 45:8 have been re-written in modern times, it probably would’ve gone something like this:
All thy garments smell of Issey Miyake, and Channel, and Hugo Boss…
That’s not all. Perfume companies put in a lot of R&D to make sure their products are as hypoallergenic as possible. This couple just mixed a bunch of herbs together. Imagine what’ll happen if someone’s child is allergic to this stuff!
Mom: “Now always remember son, Jesus Loves You. This scented candle will remind you that he’s always beside you, even as you sleep. So there’s nothing to be afraid of when I switch off the light, okay hon?”
Son: “Mommy, my eyes are swelling shut and my chest hurts and my nose is running.”
Mom: “… that’s just His Love. Goodnight, dear!”
Or worse still:
Son: “Mommy, why does Jesus hate me so?”
Hell, he doesn’t even need to be allergic to it. What if the child just plain doesn’t like the smell?
Son: “Mommy, Jesus smells like poo-poo!”
Hoooo boy. All this in litigious America, no less.
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