You know you like it
Posted by Ray @ 10:19 pmSo I’m talking online to a friend of mine, and she’s just sent me some animated gif of an anime chick with bouncing boobies. Which is actually pretty cool if you think about it. Me, I prefer a nice rear view to a nice front view, but to each his own, yeah? In any case, the following is a transcript of what happened afterwards:
Rayonnair says: why else would i have the most beautiful ass in the world* gracing my desktop
[someone] says: cause guys are daft when their testosterone takes over their mind
Rayonnair says: and girls love it =)
[someone] says: no
Rayonnair says: prove it =)
[someone] says: how?!
Rayonnair says: present evidence
[someone] says: guys enjoying porn
At which point, I was positively snorting with laughter.
Come now. When was the last time you saw a girl attracted to a pussy-boy? Because that’s what a guy without “testosterone” is… a pussy-boy! Testosterone-man, on the other hand, exudes fertility (me have big ‘nads!), security (me have big pecs!) and survivability (healthy offspring will pour from my loins!).
Testosterone-man is the Alpha Male. In his younger days, he is Brad Pitt. In his older days, he is George Clooney. Hands up, anyone who remembers Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire. Yes… you people know exactly what I’m talking about.
Women are biologically hard-wired to feel attraction towards testosterone-man. It’s a pattern repeated across all animals that reproduce sexually - Alpha male = sexy, period.**
And what of men? Well, men like boobies. Men like legs. Men like hips. To be precise, men like seeing these things. Because to a man, they represent fertility (I am not diseased!), security (your children’s heads can fit through these hips!), and survivability (my teats can feed the armies of Mordor!).
Ladies, before a date you make yourself presentable, yes? A non-negligible amount of time goes into visually enhancing yourself; choosing the right clothes, making up, wearing heels, et cetera. Not to mention the effort expended in trying to make it look effortless.
And so we arrive at the irony of it all. Guys, generally, are pumped with testosterone. You (women) attribute our enjoyment of pornographic materials to said pumping. Yet you yourself pander to our basest of desires! The very thing you protest against (me like boobies! *grunt*) is the very thing you implicitly aid, abet and acknowledge.
Testosterone-man?
You know you like it!
*The most beautiful ass in the world, of course, belongs to Keyra Augustina (go run a google search you lazy perverts).
**All of the most attractive, intelligent, witty, coherent, and (counter-intuitively) sweet girls I know, acknowledge this as truth. They acknowledge it without bitterness, nor resentment, nor stubbornly burying their heads in the ground (e.g. “Oooh, society made me that way”). You know who you are, babes… and we love you for it.
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Hear hear!
Only girls who pretend to be something they’re not will insist that things like testosterone don’t mean shit to them.
Comment by Han — Sunday, April 24 2005 @ 11:38 pm
What’s fascinating is the extent to which some girls will deny it. It’s gotta be killing them inside, man! I’ve always been an advocate of “horny, then say lah!”… the respect you gain from your honesty far outweighs any perceived drop in social standing your “peers” (who you probably don’t need) will give you.
Comment by Ray — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 12:59 am
Wow. I love this site now. I am linking you, mang.
Regards,
J
Comment by J Schnorng — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 9:43 am
Haha, you have got a fantastic site here! I love the comics man, they were hilarious yeah.. And the girls, it reminds me suspiciously of Kairi muahahaha…Got your inspiration from there?
Deviantart is a good site…fantabulous..same goes for yours =)
Comment by aristocrat — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 10:32 am
J: Thank you. Might I add, you sound like xiaxue would if she was a man. Except you don’t smell your arm pits. Or maybe you do? =)
Aristocrat: that’s very possible, Zeng was playing Kingdom Hearts like a madman, boasting about defeating Sephiroth… *sigh*. I wish I had that kind of time on my hands.
Comment by Ray — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 11:11 am
I want you to know that I nearly died laughing going through your comics.
Comment by Cowboy Caleb — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 11:25 am
Cool comic … Was directed here from the bobbin-comic.com site here … you guys should set up a forum or something like that ;) …. And yes … I feel that girls here in Singapore s*** ass … ha ahaa
Comment by Anonymous — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 12:13 pm
You Guyz Kick Ass .
Comment by Shion — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 1:41 pm
Another local webcomic strip! Don’t you guys have a picture link where I can link to?
Comment by JY — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 1:55 pm
Caleb: The very thought strikes terror in my soul. Squarebrain and its creators do NOT warrant that the content here will not kill you. We will not be held liable for any losses stemming from the perusal of this comic.
I’m told that’s how a lawyer says “thank you”.
Anon: bobbin is good shit. As for the girls, well, not all of them suck. Some like to be drunk, first.
Shion: Thank you. Your website is… insane! I can’t get the image of the giant penile faucet out of my mind. That better be a ladies’ bathroom =).
JY: You’ll have to ask Zeng about that. Maybe he’ll do one in time. And your comics are funky! Bear bear as marilyn manson indeed. Wait, you’re not a furry, are you? ~__^
Comment by Ray — Monday, April 25 2005 @ 4:39 pm
Of course you can add me; I’d be pleased as punch to be linked to your excellent site.
Regards,
J
Comment by J Schnorng — Tuesday, April 26 2005 @ 8:25 am
How Girls Waste Time
44. Drawing up elaborate lists detailing their “ideal” man and exchanging them with other similarly emotionally disturbed girls, then falling head over heels in love with the first jerk who comes along
:)
Jerks have a lot of testosterone.
Comment by Agagooga — Tuesday, April 26 2005 @ 5:06 pm