Grats!
Posted by Ray @ 11:43 pm
If you’re wondering what today’s strip is about, well, Zeng got a job with KOEI. They’re, well, y’know, only the guys who made Dynasty Warriors 3, et al. No biggie, yeah?
Seriously though. Congratulatory remarks are in order. So… congrats!
On a similar note, he just sent his stuff in to Exposé 3. If accepted, it’ll be published in the third in a series of art books promoting digital artists worldwide. Here’s his entry (severely sized down):
I believe the panda wishes that screaming chick would get off his back.
The background’s pretty gorgeous in its full glory. Here’s to hoping it gets in!
Neh… what’s up, homies?
Posted by Ray @ 1:22 amMany of us grew up with the sound of Bugs Bunny’s “Neh… what’s up, doc?”. Many of us have enjoyed his capers with Elmer (the bald dude with the shotgun). Many of us love his voice (or not). Well starting soon, Warner Brothers is giving Bugs Bunny a makeover. Yes folks, the new and improved Bugs Bunny is “fresh, cool and hip”. He’ll also be a martial arts expert and have lasers for eyes.
Okay, I’ll wait for all of you to recover from the bitter taste of bile before going on.
Ready? Okay, the new series is going to be called: Loonatics.
Alright, alright, save some vomitus for the next bombshell. His new name is: Buzz Bunny.
You’d better eat something, or else prepare for some dry retching. Bugs isn’t the only one getting a makeover; the rest of the Looney Tunes cast will get one too. Guess what Daffy Duck has for his built-in power? Dig this: Built In Sonar.
But I guess it’s all okay because Bugs Buzz has frickin’ laser beams for eyes!
(I’m sorry. In comedy school we were told that if all else fails, a reference to Austin Powers would fix everything.)
I have one suggestion, though. Make him talk gangsta! That’ll get your target demographic right away, WB. I mean, just look at Temasek Polytechnic’s new campaign. I’ll just bet their offices are overflowing with applicants eager to be a part of tp4u, yo!
Warner Brothers isn’t the only one making hilarious gaffes for the younger generation. Microsoft has recently come up with a Parent’s primer to computer slang, which is basically a leet-speak guide. Ostensibly, this “primer” is supposed to help parents monitor their children. The irony is, leet-speak has been ridiculed and mocked so many times I doubt any person with an ounce of image-consciousness would even dare to type it out and actually mean it… let alone teenagers.
In other words, if they’re typing leet, they’re probably making fun of someone, not planning to hack into the White House.
Not to mention someone’s already done a better job in explaining “leet”.
But if anywhere there was someone deserving of the label, it’s these guys. A bathroom attendant… in McDonalds! I applaud the man who braved ridicule and tiredness to provide a service usually found only in five-star hotels. Best of all, they got away with it! It’s a rather long read, but the photos cracked me up.
Okay, time for house keeping. The next two weeks will be kind of hectic, and news updates will be temporarily suspended until I can get something resembling free time back onto my schedule again. Never fear, the comic goes on.
Big thanks to Adrian over at a life uncommon. Seeing my traffic spike like that brings a warm glow to my otherwise frigid heart.
The female of the species
Posted by Ray @ 11:29 pm
The venus fly trap attracts its prey by releasing a potent stench that resembles rotting flesh. The fly, lured with promises of a delicious meal, makes its way into the source of the smell, only to have the plant’s jaws snap shut around it.
The female black widow spider eats its male counterpart after mating. The female is also the venomous sex; males are relatively harmless.
The female human lures her prey with her tantalizing aroma and her alluring beauty (note: results may vary). The male, his loins overflowing with visions of hot lovin’, readily walks in. And then the horror starts.
Incidentally, has anyone ever wondered how the venus fly trap got its name? Apparently, old-timers thought it reminiscent of the female genitalia. I can certainly see why - it’s common knowledge that women have teeth in their vulva. Once you go in, they bite down and never let go. That’s why smart men use protection when bumping uglies.
Some men, on the other hand, just want to make themselves a bigger target. I wonder why? Perhaps they have legitimate reasons, like a birth defect. Or perhaps they just want to benefit from the inevitable class-action lawsuit when they realize that hey, eating this stuff doesn’t work at all!
But enough of that. Onto more serious (-ly depressing) topics. The Bush administration is trying to prevent former POWs from claiming almost US$1 billion from Iraq that a federal judge awarded them as compensation for their torture while Saddam was in power. Note that these are US soldiers, folks, not Iraqis.
The administration’s excuse? Here’s what White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan was forced to say said:
These resources are required for the urgent national security needs of rebuilding Iraq.
Perhaps I should stop reading the news altogether.
Little Lean Limericks
Posted by Ray @ 11:27 pmThere once was a child of great acumen
His intellect was superhuman
Without blinking an eye
He could calculate pi
Perhaps he could surpass von Neumann!
…
There once was a chic, clever crowd
Who really were all very proud
But when the going got tough
They all started to huff
And proved they weren’t that well-endowed
…
Look at the HIV virus
It’s taking on all that’s cancerous
Let’s give it some time
It’s a victimless crime
Eventually, it will serve us
It’s that time of the year again
Posted by Ray @ 4:48 pm
Well, today’s the day.
Guys, treat her right. Uncle Scrooge doesn’t score any points.
Girls, give him some already. Sheesh.
Okay, now some of these links are not going to be safe for work (NSFW). If your boss / tutor / potential girlfriend is looking over your shoulder, I suggest you don’t click on anything.
Anyhow, remember guys: fortune favours the bold (and non-creepy). But if you’ve got this, you just might have an edge. Of course, we here at Squarebrain understand that you can’t always be there for that special someone. To those of you across oceans: technology is here to help!
And that’s not all technology can do for you. Thrill seekers will love the unpredictable spontaneity of the VibraExciter - put it where you want to, and go clubbing. Any cell phone going active within a 1-metre radius will set it off. Or how about this scary-looking contraption? The brave woman (and the man brave enough to suggest it) will hopefully be pleasantly rewarded.
Sadly, for every high, there is a low. The recently dumped can commiserate with other recently dumped individuals. The perpetually unlucky can finally discover the truth about why they’re so unlucky. And the rest of you can just sit back and enjoy your singlehood.
But regardless, folks; if you’ve got something good going, make sure you put in the effort to keep it that way. Have a great Valentine’s day!
Followup:
Remember when two teens got sued for baking cookies for their neighbours? Well, litigious neighbour’s been so bombarded with disapproval that they’ve come out to explain their side of the story. Apparently the banging on the door was so hard, they were certain someone was trying to break in. While I’m sure Ms Young reasonably believed she was going to get robbed, her attitude still needs work. Quote:
Despite the bitterness surrounding the incident, Renea Young said she would do the same thing again.
“There has to be some accountability, some responsibility taken,” she said.
All bitchiness aside, I’m sure the case was correctly decided (anyone remember the egg-shell skull rule?). It’s just sad to see the legal machine break like that.
Happy New Year
Posted by Ray @ 1:11 amBy now, some of you know that Prince Charles is getting married. You might also know that Marcia Cross (who stars in Desperate Housewives as Bree) is not lesbian. And if you squint hard enough, you’d also know that North Korea has admitted to having nukes and has pulled out of a 6-country negotiation to disarm.
I took a screenshot of CNN’s front page to show you what I mean.
Boy, Prince Charles must be real important huh.
In their defence, CNN did change their website afterward to appropriately reflect the gravity of the situation.
See, George? I hope you learned your lesson. Mommy told you not to call people names; if you don’t listen to mommy, angry asians will bomb you with nucular weapons. Or at least threaten to.
I hope you all had a Happy Chinese New Year, folks ^___^.
It’s getting hot in here
Posted by Ray @ 2:31 pmSome of you have probably read that laptop computers lower sperm counts if you place them on your laps for extended periods. In fact, I dimly remember an incident when a user actually got his lap physically burned (only I’ve forgotten the link).
I guess that makes the average notebook-toting busy Singaporean businessman / computer geek / university student a barren wasteland. No wonder Singaporean girls are hooking up with our Aryan brethren - their nuts haven’t been shrivelled by our ubiquitous technological lifestyle yet! Maybe our Government ought to look into this for their faster-faster-get-laid campaign. Who wants baby bonuses? We want cool laps!
Of course, the internet being what it is (and people being what they are), a variety of ideas taking advantage of our computer’s prodigious heat output have cropped up. Take a look at this little gizmo; ostensibly, it cools your lap by transferring heat away from the laptop. It also doubles as a USB port! Alternatively, you could check out the plethora of (pricey) CPU cooling options available to geeks everywhere. Don’t play-play, insufficient cooling will fry your system. Better yet, if you’ve got money to burn (hurr hurr) you can always go the liquid nitrogen route and cool your rig to -190°C.
But the prize has to go to this little gem. Fried eggs on your computer! Whatever will they think of next…
We’re back!
Posted by Ray @ 10:17 pmWe’re back, folks!
Squarebrain is back up and running. Zeng and I will try to get back into the swing of things ASAP. In the meantime, feel free to comment on our new layout.
Amongst the new features are the following:
Syndication. Those of you who are into RSS and stuff can subscribe to our updates.
Comments. I might regret this in future, but let’s give it a try first.
All thanks to Wordpress.
Incidentally, the site now supports Internet Explorer, albeit with slight glitches. It’s perfectly navigable on version 6 though. Nonetheless, Firefox is still highly recommended.
Minimum functionality
Posted by Ray @ 10:33 pmAs you can see, we’re going through a bit of a shake-up. The comic is temporarily down while I re-do certain parts of the site. Parts of it are already visibly functional, thanks to Wordpress. As it is it’s still going to be a few more days before comics get posted up again.
Those of you using Internet Explorer will come across a few strange visual anomalies. The site will still be perfectly navigable… just not up to par. This is, of course, due to IE’s blatant ignoring of WC3 web standards (in particular, in its implementation of CSS). Why don’t we all just use Firefox? The current version (1.0) is quite stable, and at a 4.8Mb download you’d be losing out if you didn’t at least give it a try.
In other news, ABC’s Desperate Housewives has started its run on Mediacorp’s Channel 5. If you’re a fan of dark humour, I strongly suggest you leave Monday nights free from 10pm onwards. And if that isn’t enough, then maybe Eva Longoria will pique your interest. Do remember that it’s serialized, so if you miss an episode you’ll end up being that irritating-fella-who-keeps-on-asking-what’s-going-on-during-the-show.
Finally, a peek at America’s Legal System [TM]. 2 girls have been successfully sued for giving cookies to their neighbours. Apparently the girls chose to forego a night of dancing and drinking to stay at home and bake for their neighbours, one of whom panicked and had to go to the emergency room. Quotable quote from Ms Young (the person who sued them):
“I just hope the girls learned a lesson.”
…And we wonder why people hate lawyers.
25% Early Buyer’s Discount
Posted by Ray @ 11:57 pm
3000 years ago, I’ll bet there was a farmer’s daughter who wanted to break it off with the shepherd boy she was going out with. Not wanting to “hurt his feelings”, she got her little sister to deliver the news to him. So off went the little girl, dressed in her woolen smock and cowhide sandals, to inform the poor guy that hey, she’s just not that into you.
Upon which, the expression on his face probably closely matched ours.
And so was born the first long-distance break-up (Incidentally, the shepherd boy probably went off with his lute and played his heart out, thus giving birth to the first whiny love ballad).
But us modern folk need not appropriate the services of a hapless sibling. With the advent of modern technology, break-ups can happen at the press of a button. Now that’s convenience!
We here at SquareBrain feel that it is in the public’s interest for everyone to have access to tried and true techniques of managing a relationshit. Our new book just scratches the surface of what’s possible. So remember to follow the rules of the game! ^__^
Hi, my name is…
Posted by Ray @ 8:36 pm
We did a sort of brief introduction in strip #2, but it occurred to us that proper pleasantaries had not been exchanged. So here we go. First meetings are always so fun!
I’m Ray. My job here is to arrange words together so they form a pleasing informational stream to your left brain. Hopefully the stream will amuse and entertain. God only knows there’s enough crap out there already.
I’m also in charge of making sure the website stays up and running. So please, if you see a bug or a glitch, e-mail me. Don’t mail Zeng - he’s liable to lose the e-mail on that cavernous hard disk of his and then deny everything later.
In the glitch department, I’ve heard some rumblings that news posts don’t appear correctly in IE. I’m looking into it, but as yet I can’t for the life of me figure out what’s wrong. It only appears to go nuts when the post is unusually long…
So that’s over with. Enjoy the ride!