The female of the species
Posted by Ray @ 11:29 pm
The venus fly trap attracts its prey by releasing a potent stench that resembles rotting flesh. The fly, lured with promises of a delicious meal, makes its way into the source of the smell, only to have the plant’s jaws snap shut around it.
The female black widow spider eats its male counterpart after mating. The female is also the venomous sex; males are relatively harmless.
The female human lures her prey with her tantalizing aroma and her alluring beauty (note: results may vary). The male, his loins overflowing with visions of hot lovin’, readily walks in. And then the horror starts.
Incidentally, has anyone ever wondered how the venus fly trap got its name? Apparently, old-timers thought it reminiscent of the female genitalia. I can certainly see why - it’s common knowledge that women have teeth in their vulva. Once you go in, they bite down and never let go. That’s why smart men use protection when bumping uglies.
Some men, on the other hand, just want to make themselves a bigger target. I wonder why? Perhaps they have legitimate reasons, like a birth defect. Or perhaps they just want to benefit from the inevitable class-action lawsuit when they realize that hey, eating this stuff doesn’t work at all!
But enough of that. Onto more serious (-ly depressing) topics. The Bush administration is trying to prevent former POWs from claiming almost US$1 billion from Iraq that a federal judge awarded them as compensation for their torture while Saddam was in power. Note that these are US soldiers, folks, not Iraqis.
The administration’s excuse? Here’s what White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan was forced to say said:
These resources are required for the urgent national security needs of rebuilding Iraq.
Perhaps I should stop reading the news altogether.