You know you like it
Posted by Ray @ 10:19 pmSo I’m talking online to a friend of mine, and she’s just sent me some animated gif of an anime chick with bouncing boobies. Which is actually pretty cool if you think about it. Me, I prefer a nice rear view to a nice front view, but to each his own, yeah? In any case, the following is a transcript of what happened afterwards:
Rayonnair says: why else would i have the most beautiful ass in the world* gracing my desktop
[someone] says: cause guys are daft when their testosterone takes over their mind
Rayonnair says: and girls love it =)
[someone] says: no
Rayonnair says: prove it =)
[someone] says: how?!
Rayonnair says: present evidence
[someone] says: guys enjoying porn
At which point, I was positively snorting with laughter.
Come now. When was the last time you saw a girl attracted to a pussy-boy? Because that’s what a guy without “testosterone” is… a pussy-boy! Testosterone-man, on the other hand, exudes fertility (me have big ‘nads!), security (me have big pecs!) and survivability (healthy offspring will pour from my loins!).
Testosterone-man is the Alpha Male. In his younger days, he is Brad Pitt. In his older days, he is George Clooney. Hands up, anyone who remembers Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire. Yes… you people know exactly what I’m talking about.
Women are biologically hard-wired to feel attraction towards testosterone-man. It’s a pattern repeated across all animals that reproduce sexually - Alpha male = sexy, period.**
And what of men? Well, men like boobies. Men like legs. Men like hips. To be precise, men like seeing these things. Because to a man, they represent fertility (I am not diseased!), security (your children’s heads can fit through these hips!), and survivability (my teats can feed the armies of Mordor!).
Ladies, before a date you make yourself presentable, yes? A non-negligible amount of time goes into visually enhancing yourself; choosing the right clothes, making up, wearing heels, et cetera. Not to mention the effort expended in trying to make it look effortless.
And so we arrive at the irony of it all. Guys, generally, are pumped with testosterone. You (women) attribute our enjoyment of pornographic materials to said pumping. Yet you yourself pander to our basest of desires! The very thing you protest against (me like boobies! *grunt*) is the very thing you implicitly aid, abet and acknowledge.
Testosterone-man?
You know you like it!
*The most beautiful ass in the world, of course, belongs to Keyra Augustina (go run a google search you lazy perverts).
**All of the most attractive, intelligent, witty, coherent, and (counter-intuitively) sweet girls I know, acknowledge this as truth. They acknowledge it without bitterness, nor resentment, nor stubbornly burying their heads in the ground (e.g. “Oooh, society made me that way”). You know who you are, babes… and we love you for it.
Computer Dictionaries
Posted by Ray @ 2:31 amSeen whilst playing Text Twist (as opposed to hitting the books):
Well, make it a part of your dictionary, damnit!