I discovered these quotes sitting around in a dusty file I came across while cleaning up my junk. I tend to write these down while I study because otherwise I’d die of boredom. Here are three of the better ones I could find!

Number 1: Peter Smith J in Baigent v Random House, rather gleefully putting down Michael Baigent. Zing!

"Mr Baigent was a poor witness. Those are not my words: they are the words of his own Counsel… Those words do not in my view do justice to the inadequacy of Mr Baigent’s performance."

Number 2: Jacob J in Milliken v Walk Off Mats, who really did not like a certain Mr Thorley’s arguments, counsel for the defendants in the case. On two occasions his irritation shows. There is this gem:

"Mr Thorley says I should not go on gut reaction but on the evidence. My gut reaction is to go on the evidence."

And this other delicious put-down, that stops just short of suggesting that Mr Thorley was afraid of one of the witnesses:

"Mr Thorley suggested the stabs might not have gone through [the mat]. He never put the suggestion to Mr Howard [a man who punches holes through mats]. Moreover Mr Howard did not strike me as a man who, if he wanted to stab a perforation through a mat, would fail."

Number 3: Wise words from Lord Hoffman in Kirin Amgen v Hoechst, giving a succinct reason why the court should not waste its time examining the patent file:

“…life is too short for the limited assistance which it can provide.”

I so agree, dude.