Here we go again!
Take Two, the company that brought us Grand Theft Auto, recently sued our good friend Jack Thompson to try and stop him from having GTA4 and Manhunt 2 declared as public nuisances. The instrument they’re using is none other than the First Amendment – you know, the one about freedom of speech.
Thompson then responded with one of the most blissfully ignorantly ironic letters I’ve seen. Quote:
I have been praying, literally, that Take-Two and its lawyers would do something so stupid, so arrogant, so dumb, even dumber than what they have to date done, that such a misstep would enable me to destroy Take-Two…
This lawsuit, filed in US District Court for the Southern District of Florida, is, without a doubt, the single dumbest thing I have ever seen any lawyers do in my thirty years of practicing law…
Ah, dear Jack. So let’s see, here’s what doesn’t qualify as “dumb” to you:
1) Offering a US$10,000 reward to a charity for anyone who makes a game where a vengeful father goes on a killing rampage, destroying videogame company CEOs, retail store employees and E3 attendees.
2) Then when somebody actually made the game, reneging on the entire thing, saying it was just a satire, a la Jonathan Swift. Except your literary skills don’t quite match up to his.
3) Then, when the real men over at Penny-Arcade decided to pay the $10,000 to a charity in your name, you try to sic the Seattle Police Department on them, claiming criminal harassment.
4) Oh yeah, and what about that time in 1988 when you went up to Attorney-General Janet Reno, first female AG of the United States, and passed her a note that said “I, Janet Reno, am a 1) Homosexual; 2) Bisexual; 3) Heterosexual. If you do not respond by a certain date, you will be deemed to have checked one of the first two boxes.” I’m sure that was real smart of you.
I am torn between laughing at you and wanting to kill you, dear Jack. I’ll settle for the former… at least I have delicious entertainment once every few months.